Remember when I said God works in
mysterious ways? I wasn't kidding.
It's not a big secret (although I
don't usually go around publicizing it) that I don't like living in my house
very much. Without divulging into all the hairy details, I'll just say I'm not
too happy when I have to be here.
Luckily for me, I have people
standing by me to always listen to me rant and tell me what I need to hear...
Which isn't always what I want to hear, but still for the better. God’s always
been able to amaze me with putting just the right people in my life at just the
right time. Another stroke of luck has been finding someone even closer than a
best friend. I’ve been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, (which
doesn’t seem like a strong enough word to describe him in the slightest) for
almost seven months now. Having a level of support that a relationship can give
has been such a blessing. Sometimes, though, I feel as if I burden him too much
with what I think are petty worries. It always seems that I end up feeling
bothersome when I go to a friend, whether it’s my boyfriend or someone else,
more and more often with my troubles, but I also can't always keep my pain to
myself. (Besides, they say it's not good for one's complexion. But I digress.)
Back to that whole mysterious
thing I had started with.
At times, all I want to do is sit
in my room and sulk. Wallow in self-pity and cry until there's nothing left.
But at other times, I'm reminded that I'm not the only human hurting, and
certainly not hurting nearly as much. Tonight, a friend I've had for years, but
haven't been keeping in touch with very well, said they needed to talk to
someone. As I listened to what they had to say and their situation, I couldn't
help but realize how good I have it; A roof over my head, food on the table,
parents still married, an amazing job, a loving boyfriend who I wouldn’t trade
for anything, a good education, a bright future… Etcetera etcetera.
Yes, it's important to know I'm
not happy all the time, and yes, it's important to know I shouldn't have to
live with this. However, it's equally as important, even more important, that I
know how blessed I am. How incredibly thankful I should be to God for giving me
what I have, and even what I've had and lost.
A conversation like the one I had
tonight with my friend is one of the reasons why I hold so tightly to my faith.
Why, every time I pray, I pray thanks. Even if I'm so mad with my dad, my
brother, or another friend, I still pray thanks for them. I've tried not to
before, but I just can't seem to go without acknowledging my appreciation for
how my life is going so far, even if I'm not happy with it. One day I might or
might not realize why things have worked out as they have, but I've also already
admitted I'm okay with not understanding. All I know for certain is that God
takes care of us as he sees fit. He gives us what we need. Nothing more,
nothing less. All we can do is pray for the wisdom to know how to survive
everyday with as much life in us as possible and to give Him all the glory
while doing it.
